09.30.09

CrossFit Gym in Midtown Atlanta

HELEN

Three rounds for time:
Run 400M
21 Kettlebell Swings 55# / 35#
12 Pull-ups

For many of you, this was your first WOD at CFPT…try beating your first time today! Reminder: The last regular WOD will begin at 6:30PM SHARP!

ELITE WOD @ 7PM

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Overhead Squat 135# / 95#
Handstand Push up

POST WOD REFUEL FOR BOTH

Male
above 12% – 30g prot/20g carb
8-12% – 30g prot/40g carb
below 8% – 30g prot/60g carb

Female
above 16% – 20g prot/20 g carb
12-14% – 20g prot/35 g carb
below 12% – 20g prot/50 g carb


FOUNDATIONS CLASS TONIGHT AT 7PM

Just a reminder that running along side the Elite WOD is the Foundations Class. If you are new to CrossFit, or would like to work on form…this is the class for you!


GET SPARTAN: THE 500 TEAM CHALLENGE

On Saturday 10.24.09 at 10am will begin CFPT’s first-ever Team Challenge. Teams of four will be chosen randomly based on those who sign up for the event that day. Remember, this is a TEAM WOD, so ALL fitness levels are highly encouraged to participate. What better way to get to know your fellow CFPT-ers :) !

The WoD:
500 Pull ups
500 Push ups
500 Sit Ups
500 3 count Flutterkicks
500 Squats

The Rules:
Only one person will be working at a time. Once that person hits failure, the next person will begin the exercise.

Sign up at the gym!


PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS: PART DEUX

You asked for it…you are getting it. Here’s the contest gig:

When: Tuesday 10.13.09 through Thursday 11.17.09

The Rules: Participants will get dunked to get their body fat and lean body mass tested at the start and end of the competition. Sign up sheets are at the gym and the cost of the test is $25 (each time). We are asking that you lock down for this month. Paleo only. CrossFit at least 4 times per week. Lockdown and go hard and see what results you can get within that month!

Cost to enter the competition is $10 each. There will be a 1st, 2nd and 3rd place prize. Amounts will be determined once we see how many people are competing.

It’s going to go a little something like this:

1. We are going to look at the change of your initial fat mass – final fat mass and assign points based on the fat loss.

For example, if a person starts with 30# of fat and ends with 25# of fat, the difference is 5#, which is 16.67% of the beginning fat mass (30#). This equals 16.67 points.

2. Same thing is going to go with lean mass change. This will equalize fat and lean muscle mass gain, so for those of you that are already lean, you stand a chance in the game too!

Example, a participant starts out with 100# of lean muscle mass and ends with 105#. Lean mass change is 5#, which is 5% of the beginning lean mass, which is equal to 5 points.

This sample person would have 16.67 + 5 = 21.67 points in the end.

We hope to have 100% gym participation!! Get signed up at the gym today! We have two days scheduled with the Fat Tank, if we need to get him out here an additional day we can do so. Because of the number of members, PLEASE pay at the time that you sign up, no exceptions this time.


NUTRITION SEMINAR

Mark your calendars…there will be a CrossFit Specific Nutrition Seminar on Saturday, October 17th from 10-11am. Cost is $5 per person for members and the sign up sheet will be at the gym.


WHY YOU NEED OMEGA 3s

  1. When Omega 3 consumption increases, your risk of cardiovascular disease decreases
  2. High levels of the Omega 3 fatty acid – DHA are required for optimal mental performance and vision
  3. Low levels of Omega 3s have been associated with depression, Alzheimer’s disease, ADHD, as well as developmental coordination disorder.
  4. Omega 3 supplements have been shown to improve the condition of chronic inflammatory diseases such as rheumatoid arthritis, various skin disorders, and gastrointestinal disorders such as Inflammatory Bowel Disease and Crohn’s disease
  5. Omega 3s may help men reduce their risk of prostate cancer.
  6. And if that isn’t enough, various population studies have also shown that diets high in Omega 3s have been effective in preventing chronic eye conditions, epilepsy, allergic sensitivity in very young children, pneumonia, lung/breathing capacity and chronic pulmonary disorders, bone health and fibromyalagia.

Now you know why you need Omega 3s. So, what’s the best way to get them?

Currently, there is a bit of disagreement between Omega 3 experts.

On one hand, we have experts like Dr. David Jenkins who prefer we get our Omega 3s from the plant based Omega 3 – ALA.

Dietary sources of the Omega 3 – ALA include:

Dr. Jenkins believes that ALA is an effective source of Omega 3s and because it can be found in vegetarian sources such as canola, walnuts and soy, it is superior to the fish-sourced Omega 3s -EPA & DHA. Dr. Jenkins cites the crisis of global fisheries as an important reason to choose vegetarian sources of Omega 3s.

However, critics of Dr. Jenkins position claim that the majority of Omega 3 fish oil supplements rely on smaller, less commercially attractive fish such as herring and anchovies. These fish are available in large numbers due to their lack of market popularity and higher reproduction rate.

In addition, supplement manufacturers are trying to improve the harvesting of algae and krill as potential mainstream sources of Omega 3s.

Dietary sources of the Omega 3 – EPA include:

Dietary sources of the Omega 3 – DHA include:

And if that wasn’t complicated enough…there is significant research that shows that ALA is an inferior source of Omega 3s, because our bodies require that ALA be converted into EPA and/or DHA for use in our bodies. And, apparently our bodies do a pretty poor job of making DHA out of ALA.

So, if you want the benefits of DHA…You should probably go with a combined EPA/DHA Omega 3 supplement.

09.29.09

CrossFit Gym in Buckhead Atlanta

FIVE ROUNDS FOR TIME:

6 Power Snatch 135# / 95#
10 Box Jumps 24″ box

POST WOD REFUEL:

Male:
above 12% – 35g prot/15g carb
8-12% – 35g prot/30g carb
below 8% – 35g prot/45g carb

Female:
above 16% – 20g prot/20 g carb
12-14% – 20g prot/30 g carb
below 12% – 20g prot/40 g carb


GREAT JOB TO…

Jenny and Dave! We are looking forward to seeing you back again very soon!


HORMONES, PROBLEM AREAS AND YOUR BODY

Article taken, in part from healthhabits.com

Hormones are responsible for your personal fat-distribution patterns. For example, women with an excessive percentage of fat on the back of their arms are likely to have elevated insulin levels or low DHEA levels.

body-fat-map-female-woman

Men unlucky enough to be lugging around a generous set of man-boobs are likely to have high levels of estrogen (often combined with high insulin and low testosterone)

body-fat-map-male
So, as a public service to all of my man-boobed brothers out there, we are going to take a look at how to get those hormones back in balance.

High Insulin
Causes

Solutions

High Testosterone

While not very common in men, it affects about 10% of women

Causes

Solutions

Low Testosterone

Causes

In addition to these causes, there are a variety of lifestyle causes. These include:

Solutions

Female

Male

High Estrogen or Estrogen Dominance

Causes

Solutions

Low Estrogen

Causes

Solutions: Female

High Cortisol

We all have stress in our lives. The problems begin when we can’t handle the stresses that are thrown our way. That is when stress starts negatively impacting our health. Chronic elevated levels of corisol is just one symptom of that impact.

Causes

Solutions

Low Growth Hormone

Causes

Solutions

Low DHEA

Causes

Solutions

Low Progesterone

Causes

Solutions

Note: I am not a doctor, nor do I pretend to be one on tv. So, if you think something is out of whack with your hormones, go and get them checked. That doesn’t mean that you have to take the drugs that your doctor is probably going to push on you. But, at least you will have the info to make your best decision. If anyone has any questions, feel free to shoot them my way. If I don’t feel confident about my ability to answer it, I will try and convince an “expert” to weigh in.

09.28.09

CrossFit Gym in Buckhead Atlanta

AMRAP IN 20 MINUTES OF:

5 Thrusters 95# / 65#
7 Hang Power Cleans 95# / 65#
10 Sumo Deadlift High-pull 95# / 65#

Compare rounds to August 25.

POST WOD REFUEL

Male
above 12% – 40g prot/20g carb
8-12% – 40g prot/40g carb
below 8% – 40g prot/60g carb

Female
above 16% – 30g prot/20 g carb
12-14% – 30g prot/35 g carb
below 12% – 30g prot/50 g carb

Eat a balanced meal 45-60 min after Post WOD Refuel.


WELCOME TO…

Michael! We are super stoked to have you at CFPT and look forward to helping you get in the best shape of your life!


GET SPARTAN: THE 500 TEAM CHALLENGE

On Saturday 10.24.09 at 10am will begin CFPT’s first-ever Team Challenge. Teams of four will be chosen randomly based on those who sign up for the event that day. Remember, this is a TEAM WOD, so ALL fitness levels are highly encouraged to participate. What better way to get to know your fellow CFPT-ers :) !

The WoD:
500 Pull ups
500 Push ups
500 Sit Ups
500 3 count Flutterkicks
500 Squats

The Rules:
Only one person will be working at a time. Once that person hits failure, the next person will begin the exercise.

Sign up at the gym!


PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS: PART DEUX

You asked for it…you are getting it. Here’s the contest gig:

When: Tuesday 10.13.09 through Thursday 11.17.09

The Rules: Participants will get dunked to get their body fat and lean body mass tested at the start and end of the competition. Sign up sheets are at the gym and the cost of the test is $25 (each time). We are asking that you lock down for this month. Paleo only. CrossFit at least 4 times per week. Lockdown and go hard and see what results you can get within that month!

Cost to enter the competition is $10 each. There will be a 1st, 2nd and 3rd place prize. Amounts will be determined once we see how many people are competing.

It’s going to go a little something like this:
1. We are going to look at the change of your initial fat mass – final fat mass and assign points based on the fat loss.

For example, if a person starts with 30# of fat and ends with 25# of fat, the difference is 5#, which is 16.67% of the beginning fat mass (30#). This equals 16.67 points.

2. Same thing is going to go with lean mass change. This will equalize fat and lean muscle mass gain, so for those of you that are already lean, you stand a chance in the game too!

Example, a participant starts out with 100# of lean muscle mass and ends with 105#. Lean mass change is 5#, which is 5% of the beginning lean mass, which is equal to 5 points.

This sample person would have 16.67 + 5 = 21.67 points in the end.

We hope to have 100% gym participation!! Get signed up at the gym today! We have two days scheduled with the Fat Tank, if we need to get him out here an additional day we can do so. Because of the number of members, PLEASE pay at the time that you sign up, no exceptions this time.


NUTRITION SEMINAR

Mark your calendars…there will be a CrossFit Specific Nutrition Seminar on Saturday, October 17th from 10-11am. Cost is $5 per person for members and the sign up sheet will be at the gym.


SPICY SWEET POTATO SOUP

I made this soup yesterday after having something similar at Rathbun’s Steak. It turned out very yummy, though I would definitely bump up the amount of spices in it next time. Taste is yummy…almost like a creamy soup without the cream! This soup can be refrigerated in airtight containers for up to three days or frozen for up to three months, which is good, because this makes a boatload!

1 1/4 teaspoons ground cardamom
1 teaspoon ground turmeric
3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/3 teaspoon chili powder
1 tablespoon unsalted butter
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 leeks, white and pale-green parts only, roughly chopped, washed well (1 cup)
1 large onion, cut into 1/4-inch dice
4 sweet potatoes, cut into 1/2-inch dice
1 butternut squash (about 1 1/2 pounds), cut into 1/2-inch dice
2 carrots, cut into 1/2-inch dice
3 quarts low-sodium canned chicken stock
Coarse salt and freshly ground pepper
Radish sprouts, for garnish (optional)

1. Combine spices in a small bowl. In a medium saucepan, heat butter and oil over medium heat. Add leeks and onion; cook until translucent, about 8 minutes. Sprinkle with spices; add sweet potatoes, squash, and carrots. Stir well to combine.

2. Add chicken stock to the mixture in the saucepan, and simmer over low heat, partially covered, until vegetables are tender, about 40 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Remove from heat.

3. Transfer half the soup to a blender, working in batches, if necessary, so as not to fill jar more than halfway; process until smooth. Return puree to saucepan; place over low heat until heated through. Serve hot; garnish each bowl with a handful of radish sprouts, if using.

09.26.09

CrossFit Gym in Buckhead Atlanta

FIGHT GONE BAD IV

Complete three rounds of 1 minute at each station. Rest 1 minute between rounds.

Wall-ball, 10 ft target 20 lbs
Sumo deadlift high-pull 75 lbs
Box jump 20″
Push-press 75 lbs
Row

IT’S TIIIIMMMMEEE!
Spend one minute at each of five stations, resulting in a a five-minute round after which a one-minute break is allowed before repeating. This event calls for three rounds. The clock does not reset or stop between exercises. On call of ‘rotate,’ the athletes must move to the next station immediately. One point is given for each rep, except on the rower, where each calorie is one point.


NO 11AM CLASS TODAY

PLEASE, if you plan on attending today, arrive promptly at 10am ready to work. We will be going through the movements and flow of the WOD and will be running multiple waves until everybody has arrived.


LAST MINUTE ATTENDEES

If you have not signed up, please bring $25 as a last minute donation!

09.25.09

CrossFit Gym Atlanta Buckhead

FOR TIME:

10 Squat cleans 135# / 95#
50 GHD Sit-ups
8 Squat cleans
40 GHD Sit-ups
6 Squat cleans
30 GHD Sit-ups
4 Squat cleans
20 GHD Sit-ups
2 Squat cleans
10 GHD Sit-ups

OR

AMRAP IN 15 MINUTES OF:

10 Supine Ring Pull Ups
10 True Push Ups


FIGHT GONE BAD IV

If you plan on attending tomorrow…please arrive ON TIME…that means 10am (NO 11am class tomorrow). Fight Gone Bad is the only WOD tomorrow and we will be running several waves, depending on the number of attendees.


NEW CLASSES ON MONDAY

Starting Monday we will have a 6:00am and 6:30am class! Check out the schedule.

09.24.09

CrossFit Gym in Atlanta Buckhead

FOR TIME:

FOUR ROUNDS FOR TIME OF:
25 KB Swings 70# / 50#
15 Burpees

OR

Make up CINDY from yesterday.

POST WOD REFUEL
Male

above 12% – 30g prot/20g carb
8-12% – 30g prot/40g carb
below 8% – 30g prot/60g carb

Female
above 16% – 20g prot/20 g carb
12-14% – 20g prot/35 g carb
below 12% – 20g prot/50 g carb


WELCOME TO…

Michael! We are very excited to have you at CrossFit Peachtree and look forward to helping you get in the best shape of your life!


HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear ANDY! Happy birthday to you!


MANY APOLOGIES…

To the dawn patrol group this morning. We are working out the bugs of an expanded schedule and coordinating schedules. Please know that it will not happen again. Again, we are incredibly sorry for the inconvenience.


GLYCEMIC INDEX + GLYCEMIC LOAD

The glycemic index (GI) is a ranking of carbohydrates on a scale from 0 to 100 according to the extent to which they raise blood sugar levels after eating. Foods with a high GI are those which are rapidly digested and absorbed and result in marked fluctuations in blood sugar levels. Low-GI foods, by virtue of their slow digestion and absorption, produce gradual rises in blood sugar and insulin levels, and have proven benefits for health. Low GI diets have been shown to improve both glucose and lipid levels in people with diabetes (type 1 and type 2). They have benefits for weight control because they help control appetite and delay hunger. Low GI diets also reduce insulin levels and insulin resistance.

Measuring the GI
To determine a food’s GI rating, measured portions of the food containing 10 – 50 grams of carbohydrate are fed to 10 healthy people after an overnight fast. Finger-prick blood samples are taken at 15-30 minute intervals over the next two hours. These blood samples are used to construct a blood sugar response curve for the two hour period. The area under the curve (AUC) is calculated to reflect the total rise in blood glucose levels after eating the test food. The GI rating (%) is calculated by dividing the AUC for the test food by the AUC for the reference food (same amount of glucose) and multiplying by 100. The use of a standard food is essential for reducing the confounding influence of differences in the physical characteristics of the subjects. The average of the GI ratings from all ten subjects is published as the GI of that food.

The GI of foods has important implications for the food industry. Some foods on the Australian market already show their GI rating on the nutrition information panel. Terms such as complex carbohydrates and sugars, which commonly appear on food labels, are now recognised as having little nutritional or physiological significance. The WHO/FAO recommend that these terms be removed and replaced with the total carbohydrate content of the food and its GI value. However, the GI rating of a food must be tested physiologically and only a few centres around the world currently provide a legitimate testing service. The Human Nutrition Unit at the University of Sydney has been at the forefront of glycemic index research for over two decades and has tested hundreds of foods as an integral part of its program.

What is the difference between glycemic index (GI) and glycemic load (GL)?
Your blood glucose rises and falls when you eat a meal containing carbs. How high it rises and how long it remains high depends on the quality of the carbs (the GI) and the quantity. Glycemic load or GL combines both the quality and quantity of carbohydrate in one ‘number’. It’s the best way to predict blood glucose values of different types and amounts of food. The formula is:

GL = (GI x the amount of carbohydrate) divided by 100.

Let’s take a single apple as an example. It has a GI of 40 and it contains 15 grams of carbohydrate.
GL = 40 x 15/100 = 6 g

What about a small baked potato? Its GI is 80 and it contains 15 g of carbohydrate.
GL = 80 x 15/100 = 12 g

So we can predict that our potato will have twice the metabolic effect of an apple. You can think of GL as the amount of carbohydrate in a food ‘adjusted’ for its glycemic potency.

Should I use GI or GL and does it really matter?
Although the GL concept has been useful in scientific research, it’s the GI that’s proven most helpful to people with diabetes. That’s because a diet with a low GL, unfortunately, can be a ‘mixed bag’, full of healthy low GI carbs in some cases, but low in carbs and full of the wrong sorts of fats. If you choose healthy low GI foods—at least one at each meal—chances are you’ve eating a diet that not only keeps blood glucose ‘on an even keel’, but contains balanced amounts of carbohydrates, fats and proteins.

We suggest that you think of the GI as a tool allowing you to choose one food over another in the same food group…and don’t get bogged down with figures. A low GI diet is about eating a wide variety of healthy foods that fuel our bodies best—on the whole these are the wholesome foods that will provide you with carbs in a slow release form. So what’s the take-home message?

09.23.09

CrossFit Peachtree in Buckhead Atlanta

CINDY

20 MINUTE AMRAP OF:
5 Pull Ups
10 Push Ups
15 Squats

OR

FIVE ROUNDS OF:

20 Push Ups
15 Pull-ups
10 Squats

THE LAST CLASS WILL BEGIN AT 6:30 SHARP!

POST WOD REFUEL
Male
above 12% – 30g prot/20g carb
8-12% – 30g prot/40g carb
below 8% – 30g prot/60g carb

Female
above 16% – 20g prot/20 g carb
12-14% – 20g prot/35 g carb
below 12% – 20g prot/50 g carb

ELITE WOD

WOD A:
2 rounds of max weighted push ups

WOD B:
WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT
20 MINUTE AMRAP OF:
15 Deadlifts 95# / 65#
10 Back Squats 95# / 65#
5 Overhead Squats 95# / 65#

POST WOD REFUEL FOR ELITE:
Male:
above 12% – 35g prot/15g carb
8-12% – 35g prot/30g carb
below 8% – 35g prot/45g carb

Female:
above 16% – 20g prot/20 g carb
12-14% – 20g prot/30 g carb
below 12% – 20g prot/40 g carb


WELCOME TO…

Aileen, Andrew, Cindy, Brittani, Hannah, James, Dave, Tracey and Dan!! :D


FOUNDATION CLASS TONIGHT @ 7PM

If you are new or want to work on your form of the CrossFit Foundation movements, this is a great time to come in!


NEW FACES

There are LOTS of new people running around…if you don’t know somebody, please make sure you take a second to introduce yourself. If you are that new person, please help our trainers help you scale the WOD by being proactive and showing them your index card with workouts.

We are working on getting trainer shirts so that it is easier for you to identify who is who on the floor :D !


THIS ONE IS FOR THE DUDES

Our Precious Testicles: by Bryan Krahn

The other day, I was able to wrestle the remote control away from my wife long enough to switch from her beloved Food Network to the Discovery channel for a re-run of their picks of the 25 Greatest Americans of All Time.

I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that a PR firm chose the finalists, as it seemed they had attempted to appeal to every age, gender, and political stripe. The end result was 25 famous Americans of varying levels of “greatness,” ranging from safe and predictable choices (George Washington), to surprising and satisfying ones (Rosa Parks) to just plain bizarre (Lance Armstrong, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush).

George W. Bush? Anyway.

But despite that the 25 Greatest Americans came from vastly different backgrounds and varying points in history, to me all the choices appeared to have one thing in common: high Testosterone.

Martin Luther King, Neil Armstrong, Abe Lincoln, and Muhammad Ali; these guys couldn’t be more different in terms of backgrounds, but each of them seemed to have one thing in common: huge balls. They had the nerve to stand up for what they believed to be right, putting their personal safety at risk to make small steps into a great unknown, steps that would one day translate into giant leaps for mankind.

Hell, even their pick as the Number One Greatest American, Ronald Reagan, had a really high-Testosterone quality about him. He outwitted the Soviets at the ultimate game of high-stakes Nuclear Texas Hold ‘Em, and is forever immortalized as standing at the Berlin wall, challenging the Soviet leader to free the Eastern Bloc. “If you seek peace, Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate. Tear down this wall!”

That’s a pretty cool footnote to have in history. Who cares that he starred in Bedtime for Bonzo?

It could be argued that the men (and women) we all revere as “great” likely had high Testosterone, simply because the mythic qualities that we commonly associate with high T are often characteristics of leaders and risk takers.

Strength. Determination. Decisiveness. Aggressiveness.

Testosterone, it would seem, embodies what it means to be a man.

But if America’s greatest likely had high Testosterone, I’m afraid that guys in 2009 seem to have a lot of cards stacked against them. In fact, if left to his own devices, I’d be surprised if today’s man would have much T floating around at all.

Today’s Batshit Crazy World

According to reports, the number of men seeking treatment for low Testosterone is at an all time high. In his book, The Testosterone Factor, Dr. Shafiq Qaadri contends that much of this is simply due to the fact men are living a lot longer than ever before and are attempting to treat symptoms of what is widely regarded as a natural part of the aging process. “Our bodies are built for only a 45 year journey, not a 80 year lifespan,” he writes. “We just aren’t geared up for a service warranty that runs so long.”

But other authorities argue that even young guys have much lower T levels than their counterparts did 100 or 60 or even 20 years ago. Strength coach Charles Poliquin has gone so far as to say it was significantly easier to build muscle even 20 years ago because circulating androgen levels were that much higher.

Considering 20 years is hardly a blip in evolutionary terms, what is supposedly causing this acute drop in T in today’s man? The physical causes that medical authorities all agree on are of the obvious sort like testicular trauma, tumors, and castration, as well as some genetic disorders.

But experts are starting to indict various lifestyle factors as causes of pre-maturely low Testosterone. Lack of exercise, unhealthy diet, smoking, and excessive drinking are now widely accepted causes, as is the use of certain prescription or non-prescription medications.

Stress, anxiety and other psychological disorders stemming from trying to cope with today’s bat-shit crazy world may also play a part. And those Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRI’s) the drug companies want you to go on to mitigate those symptoms? While helpful to some, they aren’t great for T production either.

But that’s just what the starchy lab coats can agree on. Depending how far you care to venture into the fringes of human performance, the suspected causes of low T is one hell of a list.

There’s insufficient quality sleep, too much artificial light, insufficient protein, and dehydration, as well as excessive aromatization, phytoestrogens, and xenoestrogens that leached into the Hungry Man chicken pot pie you microwaved for lunch.

There’s excessive cortisol and what’s referred to as “Pregnenolone Steal.” Pregnenolone is the mother hormone of a number of hormones, including DHEA and cortisol, and there’s only so much to go around.

Normally the system works pretty good, but in today’s world the body’s cortisol-fueled fight or flight mechanisms are on overdrive. Considering that in evolutionary terms, escaping a saber tooth tiger attack was more important than making babies, it made sense that the pathway to cortisol production took precedence.

But the system was built to deal with intense but relatively infrequent bouts of stress, not today’s non-stop rat race. Today that occasional tiger attack on the savanna has been replaced by a daily 2-hour commute on the 405 stuck behind a Buick Skylark doing 40, driven by an 80-year-old man in a tweed Rex Harrison hat, left turn signal still flashing from when he left the driveway earlier that morning.

Even our precious testicles themselves are taking a needless beating. Those skinny jeans that are all the rage with today’s Emo youth? Couple that with a pair of tighty-whiteys and you might as well transport your junk in an egg poacher.

And what about the electromagnetic disturbances from having your Blackberry glued to your person at all times? Hell, at least Plaxico Burress was smart enough to keep his phone in a holster and his Glock by his Johnson, even though it didn’t turn out so well.

Read the full article…

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